In this blog, we explore why planning for your parents’ future matters, an issue our Private Client Lawyer Rachel Hodges regularly helps families navigate.
Nobody wants to think about their parents losing the ability to make decisions for themselves. It feels premature, pessimistic, even disrespectful to bring up the subject when they may well still be active and independent.
But having worked with hundreds of families over the years, we’ve seen first-hand how much easier things become when these conversations happen at the right time – and how devastating the consequences can be when they don’t. Rachel Hodges provides some practical guidance on how families can broach this sensitive subject and what they should consider.
What Does “Losing Capacity” Actually Mean?
Mental capacity isn’t simply about age or illness. It’s the ability to understand information, weigh up options, and communicate decisions. Someone might have capacity to decide what to wear but lack capacity to manage complex financial affairs. Capacity can fluctuate daily, particularly with conditions like dementia, or disappear suddenly following a stroke or serious accident.
When someone lacks capacity to make specific decisions, the law steps in to protect them. But without prior planning, this protection often comes in ways that families find restrictive and expensive.
Starting the Conversation
The best time to discuss incapacity planning is when your parents are healthy and mentally sharp. This might feel awkward, but frame it as part of general life planning rather than preparing for decline. Many people find it easier to start by discussing their own plans first, then asking about their parents’ wishes.
You’re not suggesting they’re losing their marbles – you’re acknowledging that any of us could face an unexpected health crisis tomorrow. A car accident, sudden illness, or even a reaction to medication could temporarily or permanently affect decision-making ability.
Understanding Your Options
Two main legal tools can help protect your parents if they lose capacity: Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPAs) and Deputyships. Understanding the difference is crucial.
Lasting Powers of Attorney
An LPA is a legal document your parent creates while they still have capacity, choosing who they trust to make decisions on their behalf if needed. There are two types: one for health and welfare decisions, and another for property and financial affairs.
The person appointed (called an attorney) can only act when the LPA is registered with the Office of the Public Guardian and when the person lacks capacity to make specific decisions themselves. Your parent retains control over their affairs as long as they’re able.
LPAs cost £82 each to register, though fee reductions are available for people on low incomes. The process takes several weeks, and the documents must be signed by your parent, witnessed, and certified. While it’s possible to complete LPA forms yourself, many families find it helpful to seek legal advice to ensure the documents properly reflect their circumstances and avoid common mistakes that can cause delays or problems later.
Do your parents have an Enduring Power of Attorney? LPAs have now replaced Enduring Powers of Attorney. Whilst Enduring Powers of Attorney can no longer me made – they can still be used; therefore, it is important for those who have them to review them and make sure they still reflect their wishes. The registration requirements are slightly different to the LPA registration requirements, so it is advised to take legal advice when dealing with Enduring Powers of Attorney.
Deputyships
If your parent loses capacity without creating LPAs, family members must apply to the Court of Protection to become a deputy. This is more expensive (application fees start at £421), takes longer, and gives the deputy less flexibility than an attorney would have.
Deputies must report regularly to the court and seek permission for many decisions that an attorney could make independently. It’s a more cumbersome system designed as a safety net when no LPA exists.
The Risks of Delay
When someone loses capacity suddenly without LPAs in place, families face immediate practical problems. Many people assume they can simply step in as “next of kin,” but this isn’t how the law works. Being someone’s adult child or spouse doesn’t automatically give you the right to make financial or welfare decisions on their behalf. Banks may freeze accounts, making it impossible to pay bills or care home fees. Family members cannot access information about pensions or investments, even when trying to help.
We’ve worked with families where adult children have spent months unable to sell their parent’s house to fund care, simply because no LPA was in place. Others have watched savings dwindle while waiting for deputyship applications to be processed, all while care costs continue mounting.
In extreme cases, local authorities may need to step in to make welfare decisions, and the Court of Protection might appoint a professional deputy rather than a family member.
Making It Work in Practice
The key to successful incapacity planning is choosing the right attorneys and having honest conversations about values and preferences. Your parent might want different people handling financial and welfare decisions, or prefer decisions to be made jointly by multiple attorneys.
Discuss practical scenarios too. Would they want to remain at home if possible? Are there any medical treatments they’d refuse? What about their pets, or important charitable giving?
Remember that creating LPAs isn’t a one-time task. Circumstances change, and the documents should be reviewed periodically to ensure they still reflect your parent’s wishes and that chosen attorneys are still appropriate.
Moving Forward
Planning for incapacity does not take away your parents’ independence – instead, it preserves their autonomy by ensuring their chosen people can step in if needed. The conversation might feel difficult initially, but most people find relief in having their affairs properly organised.
Start gently, focus on the practical benefits, and remember that having these plans in place protects the whole family during what could otherwise be an incredibly stressful time.
To discuss the issues raised in this blog, make an appointment with our Private Client team.